(ThyBlackMan.com) When the subject of relationships come up the men tend to blame the women, and the women tend to blame the men. Very rarely does one look at self and say I am the problem. It’s so much easier to lay fault at the feet of others knowing one will have an entourage that will agree with our placing of blame. The problem is, in part, our need to fulfill our thoughts on image. How many of us have heard, or said, “Image is everything”? Too many of us never get to know the person we are dealing with because we fall in love with Facebook pages, Instagram posts, degrees, and bank accounts. That’s all fine and well, but those things do not define the nature of a person. Since image is based on the above mentioned…in a matter of months, or weeks even, many find themselves dating strangers only to say it’s not my fault.
How someone handles you may not be our fault, but overlooking who they are, or not looking at all, is totally on you. So much is placed on what a person has, and how they look. Don’t get me wrong I understand we are attracted to the physical, but there are some gorgeous men and women in the world that are rotten to the core. There are some men and women out here that have advanced degrees, and are intellectually profound, but their more compass is completely off.
It is already known that how much money a person has does not equate to how much care that person can provide. Many know this yet continue to make these things the basis of what they are looking for in a relationship. We aren’t even going to address the subject of sex, because it clouds judgment on many levels. Too many people are deciding they know a person based on Facebook statuses, and Instagram post so you are already detached from real interaction in getting to know someone.
Sometimes it’s important to have conversations for the sole purpose of getting know the individual behind the image. What kinds of books do they read? What kinds of movies do they like? What was childhood like for them? What are their thoughts on marriage roles? What kind of music do they like, and why? What are their thoughts on different social justice issues? How do they feel about what’s happening in government? You don’t ask these kinds of questions to spark a debate; you want to listen to them and observe the answers. You need to find out if you and another person connect beyond the surface…like can you even see them as a potential good friend. When you don’t take the time to get to know a person you could be setting yourself up for heartache…or worse.
Image is cool, but it’s not everything. Everyone wants to have the baddest lady, or gentleman on their arm. This is understandable, but image alone means that may be all you ever have. Trophies don’t last long these days. All men nor women are at fault for relationship hell. Each person must take account of themselves, and what they want in a companion.
When you don’t look beyond that image it is not the fault of another when the unpleasant surprise rears its ugly head. Tall, handsome and well off…along with beautiful, banging body and a career on surface has gotten many caught up. Some have been so caught up they lower their standards completely and are now consciously dating subpar. Know yourself, and decide to make better choices based on what you know. Yes, there is always those few that get by us, but if you aren’t leading with image you may avoid a lot of headache.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; C. Starr and also Twitter; MrzZeta.