Glorified Hoodrats within the Black Community.




( If you’ve been in the dating field for any length of time now, you’ve seen them. We all know a few. And they’re everywhere. They’re at church; they’re at school. They’re at the bank working as tellers; they’re even up in the glass towers of corporate America. Some of them work down at your local hospital, sticking you with needles and processing you in and out of the healthcare system.

What am I referring to? Hoodrats. And more appropriately: glorified hoodrats.

A glorified hoodrat is the female you run across online on one of the popular dating sites. She’s the female who’s profile reads something like this:

Single with kids, very independent, got my own car and place, tired of the games, tired of the drama, not looking for a bootycall or a one night stand, so if that’s what you’re looking for then keep moving past my profile, God is number one in my life, social drinker, I respect myself so if you leave me a message talk to me respectfully. I’m a lady and expect to be treated the same…Looking for someone to spoil me and treat me like the queen that I am…

Following this spiel is an assortment of photographs depicting the ‘respectful’ young lady in tight fitting outfits, skimpy dresses, jeans so tight you couldn’t  squeeze a penny into the back pocket, and an assortment of tattoos that would put any Hell’s Angel biker to shame.

Glorified hoodrats typically work at average jobs that come with a few health benefits, live in average neighborhoods (most likely an apartment complex), drive an average vehicle and typically does average things in their spare time.


These are chicks who’s idea of traveling is going down to Miami or Vegas with girlfriends for the weekend; and the occasional ‘international’ trip abroad to…the Caribbean.

They walk around with a false sense of bravado and overinflated egos, quick to assume that their sexuality is their biggest asset in luring a man.

They claim to like reading books. But when you check their library, it consists of books with titles like “Shanda’s Big Payback“, “Hood Chicks 1 and 2“, “Lessons From A Super Freak“, etc. You won’t find any engaging books on politics, social affairs or historical matters. Glorified hoodrats tend to avoid books that deal with real world matters that go on outside of the confines of the typical African-American experience.

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They can’t get enough of television shows like the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Basketball Wives, Mob Wives, Love and Hip Hop, and Hollywood Exes. In fact, they set their cable recorders to capture these shows and the re-runs, just in case they miss an episode.

Glorified hoodrats claim to be beyond dating losers and low caliber men; but can’t seem to avoid them all the same. It’s typical to hear one rant about how pitiful the dating choices are for the guys in their area.

They personify having delusions of granduer, thinking more highly of themselves than they ought to: something even the bible warns people against doing. (Romans 12:3)

That’s why you’ll often see groups of them out together with stank attitudes, being loud and outlandish in attempts to draw attention, and with a very stand-offish demeanor towards a quality man that would attempt to step their direction. But the man with the most false ‘thug’ swagger gets the signal for a clear approach.

These are the women you see out in the clubs, boobs popping out their tops like a freshly unwrapped can of Pillsbury biscuits, tattoo carefully placed right above the breast to draw one’s focus in that direction. But wait: follow one long enough and you’ll also see her leave the club on a Saturday night and hit the church up on Sunday morning: bible tucked under her arm and dressed like a true church missionary. No one’s the wiser that just a few hours earlier she was sprawled out missionary style on her bed, while some dude she’s known for less than month was touching her soul with his pole.

If you’re not careful, just by her looks alone, you’ll swear she’s a woman of high standards and moral character. But once you start talking to her and digging into her background, you’ll find she’s neglected her children often over the years as she’s pursued men, has a few child support cases pending, a track record of dating thugs and low-lifes, an even more disturbing habit of giving up the sex with little knowledge of the one she’s sexing; and an unhealthy appetite for dumbing down her mind with mental foolishness.

They are highly sexual creatures, using the lure of their sexual prowess and bodies to get the man they want into a relationship. In fact, this ability to draw a man’s sexual interest, even if it’s unhealthy attention, gives these women a false sense of importance and an overinflated ego. Using the reward of sex as an enticement into a relationship, they fail to realize that once the relationship has commenced, they have little more to offer a quality man that would keep him interested enough to pursue the relationship beyond just a sexual one.

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And when the relationship goes to hell, as it inevitably does, she’s quick to blame the guy as the reason why things fell apart. A glorified hoodrat rarely ever does any healthy self-reflection. That’s why she usually keeps another man already waiting in the wings as backup; because she’s aware that guys never tend to last for long in her life; and the prospect of being alone for a while is not something she’s willing to tolerate.

The most telling sign of a glorified hoodrat is, they usually can’t tell that they are one! Not only that, they lack the ability to identitfy another glorified hoodrat when they see one. To them, the independent, strong, liberated woman, single mother concept is something to wear like a badge of honor. They remain blind to the dysfunction within their lives, and continue to exist in a form of self-deceit.

To make matters worse, they surround themselves with like-minded females. Then becomes true that saying of old: Birds of a feather do indeed flock together.

Fellas, do yourselves a huge favor: avoid glorified hoodrats. Avoid them at all costs. Even at cost of wetting your willy in some prime looking meat. Better to have a dry, limp frustrated willy, than a bunch of misery in your life you can’t readily get rid of. Better still: upgrade to a better, healthier-minded type of woman.

A lot of these females are the way they are because of YOU. You’re the ones out there gassing these average females up, making them feel extraordinary for doing ordinary stuff. Having a job that pays a living wage, going to college to get a skill, moving out the hood…this isn’t anything extra. This is basic stuff that goes on in America every single day! Stop putting extras on the average.

Can a hoodrat change? Of course they can. But it has to be real, genuine change. Just because someone moves out the projects or the trailer park, gets a cool job making 30K or 40K, goes to college and buys a better lace front, doesn’t mean they’ve changed mindsets. They’ve just changed zip codes.

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Remember the TV show The Beverly Hill Billies? For those too young to remember, it was a television show from back in the day that depicted a clan of hill billies who struck rich suddenly, and moved from the backwoods of the country to Beverly Hills. The show was funny because they still acted like they lived out in the sticks, even when surrounded by a bunch of uppity wealthy people.

When you can transform yourself from the mindset of a hillbilly into someone who truly belongs in Beverly Hills, that’s when you’ve made a transition into an updated dimension of living.

To all my glorified hoodrats reading this, getting more and more pissed by the minute: Don’t get angry at me. Get angry at yourselves.

Stop selling yourselves short. Get out of your comfort zones. It’s time out for being satisfied with just an average job with benefits and a child support check. Stop settling for low budget dudes and STEP YOUR GAME UP!

Matter of fact, if you’re a female thats over the age of 25, and you still date men who don’t own a suit or a necktie, or men with no jobs and with suspended drivers licenses, with multiple baby mamas and arrest warrants pending…you need to be knocked upside your head! And I don’t mean literally on some Ike and Tina tip: you need to be knocked upside the head with a heavy dose of reality. That mess is corny.

Upgrade your life by upgrading your mindset. It starts by being real with yourselves. Not by putting on a false cloak of swagger and arrogance, like you really got it going on when you don’t. When you truly step your game up, you’ll find that good men have been all around you the whole time. They’ve just been waiting on women of equal quality to show up.

And if all you keep attracting are busted, broke, low caliber men, just remember: birds of a feather tend to flock together.

Staff Writer; Mack Major ||

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