(ThyBlackMan.com) In my coaching sessions it’s not unusual to encounter a husband distressed with his wife’s disposition. In his anguish it’s also common to hear him voice his desire to be done with the marriage. The unfortunate aspect of this temperament is, oftentimes a husband has chosen to travel a narrow path as it relates to dealing with his dilemma.
In a recent conversation with Pastor B, a good friend, I was given a reminder of how to handle a hostile state of affairs.
Pastor B shared with me a last Friday (October 21st) his horrid story of a near death experience just two weeks earlier. In a physical confrontation with an attacker whom had just attempted to rob his wife, outside the front door of his church [initially he was inside the church], Pastor B was knocked to the cold cement. With his assailant shadowing above him, gun loaded, cocked and spewing threats of “I should kill you,” Pastor B said he knew God didn’t intend for his life to end that night at the hand of that demon spirit. He added:
“I knew that night would not be the last time I’ll see that young man. I just know he’s going to walk through these doors and that demon spirit will be gone – I just know it.”
As I listen to Pastor B screen the movie of his near death experience I’m not sure if I was more awed by God’s grace and mercy on his life or engulfed by the God in Pastor B that extended mercy to a young man whom had threaten to snatch his life.
In the immediate days following the attack that left Pastor B’s bloodied with a gash that required four stitches, he continued to illustrate the spirit of his grace with a plant gifted to him after his ordeal.
“Every day when I arrive at the church I pray to the plant; I speak life into it and in doing so I’m speaking life into that young man.”
As I reflect on Pastor’s position it is fair to ask – how much more fulfilling would our marriages be if – as husbands – we owned the spirit that would extend the level of love to our wives that Pastor B continues to extend to his assailant? How much more fulfilling would our marriages be if – as husbands – we prayed life into our wives when they hover over us threatening the life of our spirit. Note to wives: In the aura of your beauty and all that you do for us there are times – unprovoked – when your disposition (much to your disbelief) leaves us husbands feeling disabling defeated.
So what are we to do?
As Husbands, God’s word instructs us to love our wives as Christ loved the church – this means we are definitely going to experience days when we are knocked, by our Mrs., to the cold cement. In fulfilling God’s mandate there will be times when, like Jesus, we will be required to raise a dead situation in our marriage; like Jesus, there will be times when we will be obligated to heal a condition in our marriage that’s been bleeding for a long period of time; like Jesus – sometimes we will take an unwarranted, undeserved crucifixion. Like Pastor B, who prays daily for his offender and Jesus who, hanging on the cross, prayed, “Father, forgive them (the people putting Him to death) for they do not know what they are doing,” we too are required to pray daily for our wives and especially when we are feeling under attack.
Finish story here; Christian Men; Do you pray for your wife?.