African Americans; Your Partner’s Excessive Attention Seeking Behavior.




( No one wants to be called an “attention seeker” but when we know that someone we love a lot is an excessive drama addict, we realize that something must be done. Attention seeking is not about getting attention, it is more about getting the control. This is obviously not a positive behavior but it doesn’t mean that you can’t help someone who is a drama addict.

If your partner is an attention seeker, don’t go away from them or leave them. The solution is a whole lot easier than you might think. Such behavior can change and here’s how you can handle your partner’s attention seeking behavior.

Understand the depth of compulsive behaviors

When a person doesn’t get something for a long time, they develop a fear. The fear of losing that special thing which can be love, care or closeness. This starvation leads people to get more and more of it so they will never have to face the scarcity again. The fear of living without it, feeling left alone or forgotten, leads people to fight. They fight to get attention, they fight to get the love. They fight to be heard. Remember, the attention-seeking behavior is not a character flaw. It is just a mindset which can be changed if worked on and discussed with a positive tone.

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Not paying attention doesn’t help, truth does

Attention seeking behavior of a person simply kills the mood and people start taking their words lightly. If you feel that not paying attention to your partner will solve the problem, it won’t. Instead of ignoring your partner, tell them about what’s happening and how everyone around them feels annoyed because of their behavior.

If you don’t want to include others in this conversation, just express how you feel when their excessive drama addiction reaches the peak. Tell the truth in a peaceful way that they are getting addicted to attention-seeking even when everything is perfectly fine. Make them realize that your love, attention, care, and thoughts are still the same and your relationship doesn’t really need insecurities. If your partner is mature enough and you’re telling the truth in the right way (without blaming and getting angry), you will start seeing the difference in their behavior.

Give some more time to your partner

Make your partner realizes the fact that they are not going to be left alone, abandoned or forgotten. They will always receive the love, warmth, and comfort they are receiving today. Let the fear of losing go away from their mind. This transitional phase may look complicated because your partner will likely become silent and will prefer speaking to self in order to realize and accept the things.

Never leave your partner alone and never make them feel that you will go away if you don’t see a change. Give some more time and keep talking to them. If they repeat the same behavior again, don’t lose your temper. Just remind them that you have discussed it and it’s not healthy for the relationship. It will give them a sense of protection and trust that you are equally trying to protect the world you two share. It will make them understand that they already have the things they wanted but they were not seeing it.

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You can’t fix their past, but you can find beauty in memories

Some people use attention seeking behavior as a shield to protect themselves. They want more just to protect themselves and when self-love fails to protect their beliefs, they create issues out of nothing. Help your partner remove that shield and forget the wounded parts of the past.

Don’t let the emotional starvation they suffered in childhood or teenage ruin the present. No one in this world is perfect, neither you nor your partner. Don’t suffocate them with negative words about their behavior. The way we all grew up is different for each other. The healing journey may not be easier for you and your partner. It’s hard to change behavior and accept behavioral changes.

Gathering the courage to accept the unpredictable future takes time, but with the support of a loved one, it can be made possible. Never let your partner deal with it alone, support them in this journey and yes, don’t treat your partner like a patient because attention seeking behavior is not a disease, it’s just a flaw.

Staff Writer; Corey Shaw

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