African Americans: Intentions And Expectations: Building Block For Strong Relationships.




( Do you really get what you deserve in life? It’s a question that many of us ponder on a daily bases. Did I deserve that promotion? Did I deserve that heartbreak in my last relationship? I’m sure the list of questions like these can go on forever, but what if I told you that we don’t get what we deserve in life? In fact the only thing that we manifest in our lives are the things that we intend and expect to receive.  Intentions and expectations are the building blocks to everything that we experience in our lives. In this piece I’ll give my views on how the concepts of “What I deserve” vs. “What I intend or Expect” differ when it comes to creating the life and relationships that we would like to have.

“What I deserve” usually comes from the mindset that external factors, experiences, and circumstances control the life that we live. This put us at the mercy of other people, things and life itself. This is a victim mentality that many of us suffer from. It’s not hard to understand why. In order for the powers that be to control us, we must be lead to believe that we are powerless and there for need external additives provide for our security, self-identification, self-worth, and even happiness. Once the stage is set, controlling that masses like sheep is easy. When you constantly see images of black men and women portrayed in the media in a negative light you tend to adopt those same views and prejudices.

How many times have many of you heard that “all black men cheat”, “black woman are loud and dominating to their men”, and even that “black families are on the decline”? Over time these messages transform into our personal realities. Meaning we begin to manifest these things in our lives. Negative propaganda about black men and/or black women are put my same forces that profit from that conflict. Once we understand that we begin to see and understand the “why” in the question “Why black men and women seem to be in conflict with each other.

Intention and expectations change your perception and ultimately your life and relationships. First of all Intention and expectations are things that you control internally. Therefore your take back control over you own life. This shift instantly empowers you to create and manifest whatever you wish to see, do, and have in your life. You then understand that all power (God) lives within you and express itself through you. We then view the world in a different light. You “Know” that only “YOU” are in control of your life. This is very powerful and can be scary at the same time, because we know that with great power comes great responsibility.

It’s much easier to point the finger at “them” and how “they” are stopping you from getting the money you want, pursing the career that you want, and it’s even “their” fault that you can’t find a man or woman to love you. Well, if you have been waiting for the infamous “THEY” to do anything for you, I am here to tell you to weak up and start living for “YOU”. The moment you set your intentions to live the life you want without needing the approval of anyone outside of yourself you will see great changes in your life and relationships. With your intentions strongly defined, set very clear expectations for what you will and will not expect from life. I make list personally.

Things become real once you put it to paper. (Side note: make sure you really know who you are and what you want before you start making list!) Finally with intentions set and expectation defined you must then use words to speak your new way of thinking into creation.

It may be a little awkward at first but consistency and strong belief will manifest all the things that you wish to see in your life. During this process that “inner voice” will begin to advise you to make material changes such as: Cutting off reality shows and using that time to create your own reality (i.e. Vision boarding, visualization activates, reading, working out, etc.), removing yourself from negative thinking people and environments, and even finding new friends that encourage and challenge you to grow. These are the actions of a “Creator”, the manifestation of GOD on earth. As creators, I feel it is our birth right to create our lives just the way we want them to be without any interference of any outside forces.

If a strong healthy relationship is your goal here are a few suggestions that I will leave you with. First make it your intention. Know that you deserve love just as you are today with no conditions. Next be able to define your expectations clearly to yourself and others. Always be upfront and honest about these expectations when meeting new people. This helps to weed out those people and circumstances that aren’t in line with the vision you have for your life. Finally make sure your words and actions always match up to what you Intentions and expectations are.

Examples: Don’t say black men or (insert negative stereotype here) and then wonder why all the guys you date are the embodiment of that. Men: Don’t say that all black women are (insert negative stereotype here) and scratch your head when that’s what you keep attracting. Our words have great power and must be used with the respect that one would use when handling a loaded weapon. I feel that with strong belief and knowledge of self we can create a life that is movie worthy. Black love is Black power!

Staff Writer; Kendrick S.