African Americans: How to Recover and Move Forward After Cheating.




( There is a truth that exists in relationships that is hard for some people to digest – there will be cheating. I am not saying that everyone will experience infidelity, but for those that do, it is a long road to recovery if your mate forgives and takes you back.

People cheat for different reasons and you can’t really pinpoint why someone did or will. The important thing is if you end up cheating and are fortunate enough to have your mate willing to work through it, you do have some work to do. When it comes down to it, not matter the circumstances for your cheating, the burden of rectification mostly rests on the person who did the crime. Regardless of what your spouse did or did not do, you made the decision to step outside of the relationship. It’s up to you to show that you can be trusted again.

So, if you are in the position of recovering after cheating, here are some tips to help you along the way.

Give Your Significant Other Time

You are going to want to do all that you can to show that you are sorry and you should, but you have to give your significant other (SO) time to process what happened. During the interim, use that time to process things for yourself as well. Figure out why you did what you did.

Take Accountability

Like I mentioned earlier, there many be 100 reasons why you felt the need to cheat, but at the end of the day, you did the deed. Taking accountability doesn’t meant that you beat yourself into the ground and get depressed. It does mean that you feel remorse for the things that you did to the point of knowing that only you could have prevented the infidelity. From there, it’s up to you to take the steps needed to become a better person; for yourself, your SO and your family.

Get Some Help

Don’t be opposed to getting professional help if you need to get past this bump in the road. In fact, getting professional help is a good sign of wanting to put what happened behind you for good. Unless you are just a womanizer and have no real interest in being faithful, seeing a therapist can help you sort through the issues that made you cheat in the first place.

Remove Temptation

It is no secret that the things we are tempted by often times are our downfalls. If you know that a certain type of woman catches your eye or if going to the strip club awakens something in you, steer clear of the temptation. Most of us are not strong enough to withstand the things the tempt us to do wrong. Whether it be sweets when you’re on a diet or gambling when you’re trying to do better, just don’t put yourself in a position to fail.

Cheating is one of those things that is always very sad when it happens. Know that you can’t go back and change what happened, but what you can do is move forward. Understand this and make the necessary adjustments to ensure it does not happen again.

Staff Writer; Rasheda Abdullah